Thursday, October 9, 2014

The Doggie Double Standard

Here in Tucson, you can have your rockin' loud party busted by the police. And you'll probably be looking at hundreds of dollars in fines.

But, as the late night infomercial says, that's not all. You'll also have to display a bright orange tag on the front of your house for six months. If you remove the tag before those six months are up, you'll get another fine.

Want to torture your neighbors with impunity? Don't bother with the party. Just leave your barking dog outside. If there's a neighbor complaint, you'll get a Sternly Worded Letter from animal control. And you'll get the chance to strut your BS in an optional mediation session with your neighbor.

Sound like fun? It sure is! You and your neighbor get to take time out of your busy schedules so that you can explain why you're incapable of controlling your dog's noise.

If mediation fails (as it often does), or if your neighbor isn't interested in mediating (why bother with such a pointless exercise?), the neighbor can request an barking log from animal control. How cool is that?

Every time your neighbor has his house filled with your dog's barking, he gets to record it in his official animal control log. Wow! And then he can turn it in to animal control. If animal control thinks that your neighbor has suffered enough, there's a hearing.

Uh-oh! You could get fined!

Notice a double standard? I sure do!

If I were to stand out in my yard and yell for several hours, I'd be arrested. So would you.

Which begs the question: If human noise gets immediate attention from the police, why doesn't barking dog noise? Must be due to the Doggie Double Standard.

The Department of Shameless Self-Promotion. Start spreading the news! Barking is becoming as unfashionable as secondhand smoke. And you can become a peace and quiet fashionista at my QuietBarkingDogs store.