Ever had an owner tell you that his dear, sweet little doggie doesn't bark? Oh, no. Not ever.
Well, Mr. Dog Owner, what was that sound we heard when we were trying to sleep? Was that your dog, whispering outside our bedroom window?
Then there's that perennial classic: My dog barks because he's doing his job.
And what job might that be? Creating noise pollution? If so, your dog is doing fantastic work! Give him a raise!
Oh, here's another one: No one else has complained about the barking.
Well, maybe not to you, exalted dog owner. And there's a reason for that. It's called futility. We've learned (the hard way) that trying to talk to you about your dog's sacred utterances isn't worth our time.
The Department of Shameless Self-Promotion. If those lying dog owners are getting on your nerves, head over to the QuietBarkingDogs store. Plenty of clothing and bumper stickers that quietly make our viewpoint known.