Monday, May 28, 2012

Barking Dogs as Protection

One of the most frequently used excuses for a barking dog is that it's needed for protection.

Well, I'm here to tell you that if those dogs were alarm systems, they would have been recalled as a defective product. I've seen and heard far too many barking dogs that go off at e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Here's a brief list of barking dog triggers from my block:
  1. People walking their leashed (and quiet) dogs past the house where the barking dog is.
  2. Users of wheelchairs and motorized scooters
  3. Children walking to the school bus stop
  4. A young couple with a baby in a stroller
  5. Postal workers delivering the mail
  6. Runners and joggers
  7. Bicyclists
  8. People getting out of their cars and going into their houses
None of these are what one would consider to be major threats to life, limb, and property. So, what's with all the barking? And if the dog is such a great crime deterrent, why is it setting off so many false alarms?

The Department of Shameless Self-Promotion. For those who are fed up with all the noise, I've created an online store full of shirts and stickers that you can use for getting your point across. Here are a couple of items that talk back to the barking dog protection racket:
  1. Barking Dogs Don't Reduce Crime - PEOPLE DO
  2. Barking: Ruining Our Quality of Life - One Neighborhood at a Time
If the owners of these canine loudmouths are really interested in reducing crime, ask them to aid you in forming a neighborhood watch. I'll bet you money that they won't lift a finger to help.


  1. It is an absolutely defective product and if it were ANYTHING else it would be summarily condemned and banned everywhere.

    Imagine this: I have just developed an electronic device that one places in their yard. It will emit an ear-splitting alarm, at the same sound level as an automobile horn, for a duration of 5 seconds to 3 hours every time any of the following events occur:

    - Nothing.
    - the wind blows.
    - someone sits on their own front porch.
    - a leaf falls from a tree.
    - It is "hungry".
    - It desires "attention".
    - It is "bored".
    - Etc... etc.... ad nauseum.

    You KNOW something like that would be banned at the outset.

    However, since the "device" in question has canine DNA it is not only tolerated it is ENDORSED.

  2. Thanks for dropping by, Animal Uncontrol.

    To your comment, I would like to add a note about the futility of time-based barking ordinances. You know, the ones that say that a dog is only allowed to bark for a set period of time before it is in violation of the ordinance.

    Since when did dogs know how to tell time?

    And we all know that a single ear-splitting bark is enough to cause quite the disturbance. Especially if that bark is as loud as a car horn.