Thursday, September 20, 2012

This Week's Barking News Roundup - 09/20/12

Editor's Note: In this edition of the Barking News Roundup, we're going to take a special look at that oft-repeated advice to talk to the owners of barking dogs. Public officials and law enforcement are especially fond of offering it. Read on, and you'll quickly see how useless such advice really is.

Question: Why would killing neighbors barking dogs be considered illegal?

Excerpt: Polite requests from all surrounding neighbors have been ignored and laughed at by morons with caged dogs in back yard. These dogs bark ALL NIGHT long. There is no dog control due to local political incompetence. At this point, we are all at the boiling point. ALL local law enforcement ignores our complaints. I'm about to just take these dogs out.

Tip: This question awaits your response. And be advised that the question's creator says, "[T]o all you self-righteous responders just shut up the pie-hole. Also, we've all tried the useless dog bark stoppers on the market."

Question: Drug Dealer Neighbors With Barking Dogs

Excerpt: My neighbor's dogs wake me up at all hours of the night barking. It is taking its toll on my well being and capacity to work. It's actually a big big problem that is not fixed by ear plugs and multiple sources of white noise. I am literally surrounded by white noise. The big problem? I'm fairly certain they are drug dealers. I have tried to handle the noise in a low key straightforward manner, acting as if they wer not drug dealers. Someone tipped off the landlord though about the barking and they blame me for "tattling".

Tip: Another question that you can respond to. Have at it!

New research: playing classical music in kennels stops dogs barking

My suggestion: Cue up the 1812 Overture and aim it at the neighbors with the barking dogs. Or how about Ride of the Valkyries?

No dog control ordinance for Oxford Twp.

Excerpt: [A Township Supervisor] noted that normally, he doesn't believe in creating "excessive ordinances," but he can "empathize" with people disturbed by barking dogs because he has some personal experience with the issue. "I am bothered a lot by barking dogs," he said.

Barking dogs in Brooklyn fined by city

Excerpt: It's rare for New York City to issue citations over a barking dog. But two dogs in Marine Park, Brooklyn, were so loud that an inspector did act.

Both dogs fined live right next door to each other. Owners say the dogs egg each other on.

Hint to New York City: You're overlooking a cash cow that's just waiting to be milked. Start levying those fines. Your taxpaying, peace and quiet-loving residents will thank you.

The Department of Shameless Self-Promotion. Well, this sure is the Barking News Roundup that has it all. A neighbor driven to the point of contemplating the final solution to barking noise. Do-nothing law enforcement and clueless public officials. And a city that's missing out on a huge revenue opportunity. While Your Quiet Neighbor does not endorse violence against barking dogs or their owners, I do recommend a trip to the QuietBarkingDogs store. You'll find a nice, quiet array of  tee shirts and bumper stickers that get our point across.


  1. In regards to the first article, "killing a neighbor's barking dog(s)".

    Agreed that shooting or poisoning the dogs would be QUITE illegal. However, it is perfectly legal to kill a dog with... another dog!

    Think about it, pit bulls and other dogs kill other pets all the time and rarely is anything done about it.

    While anything can be a weapon, the dog is contemplated differently as not only is there no restraint BEFORE the fact, there is none AFTER either.

    So, what you need is a highly dog aggressive dog and turn it loose amongst the yard barkers... problem solved and you get off scott-free! The whole incident gets written off as an "Act Of Dog!".